I got pregnant when I was 17, a senior in high school. My parents hated my boyfriend, and were anxiously awaiting my graduation and sending me off to the college of choice. They were also fighting a lot, and were in the beginning stages of their eventual break up. I got myself to family planning for a pregnancy test, and when it came back positive I was scared to death. My mom was a nurse at the hospital, and I was petrified that if I had an abortion anywhere near my home town, she would somehow find out. No one ever explained confidentiality laws to me, and I was too shy to ask many questions.

Considering my parents' situation and the stress level in my house, plus the fact that I was pretty sure it would devastate them to ever find out I was having sex in the first place, let alone pregnant with the hated boyfriend, I chose a clinic three hours from my house. My friend, boyfriend and I all scraped up money and skipped school one day in the spring of my senior year (telling my mom that were going to look for prom dresses, of all things) and headed on our way. The clinic was a for-profit, hole in the wall place in a small office plaza. Very nondescript. They had me fill out forms, took the cash, and we waited. It seemed a little bit sleazy, but okay. Then I met my counselor. Her name was Meredith, and she was amazing. She treated me with respect, humor and compassion, talked to me about birth control, explained the whole thing in detail, and generally made me feel pretty damn okay about what I was about to do. When it was my turn for the procedure, she came in with me and held my hand the entire time, saying little but watching me to make sure I was okay. The doctor was nice, as I recall, though I don't remember much about him.

Afterward, they gave me pads, antibiotics and a hug, and we went home. I slept most of the way, relieved that I was free to start my life again. I broke up with my boyfriend shortly thereafter. My parents were thrilled. They divorced a year later. A few years after that, I ran into Meredith at the movies while I was visiting friends in the city. She looked at me with a big smile and said "Nice to see you! How are you?" Totally appropriate, yet respectful of my privacy.

I now work running an abortion program. My experience that day, and particularly the kindness shown by Meredith, really shaped my life in ways that I am still figuring out. I went to that clinic full of shame, almost expecting to be belittled for the pregnancy and my lack of good judgment, and I came out a feminist. My patients often ask me how I can handle doing such a hard job, and I always say the same thing: "It isn't hard for me, it is a joy. I am here with you today to give you the respect and compassion you deserve, and to give you the keys to your future. I am lucky to have the honor."