When I was 13 years old I was of the belief that 'it can't happen to me'. I started dating (if that's what you call it at 13) a fellow 8th grader right around Thanksgiving. I started my period young and had always had them like clockwork. So come about the first week of January I kind of began to wonder. But again, ‘it can't happen to me’. I waited a week or so, and then went into full worry mode. I called my boyfriend and told him I thought I might be pregnant. Dead silence. Funny, to this day he remembers he was watching Batman the Movie when I told him and now he can't watch it at all without getting chill bumps.
My mom had always asked me if I started my period, so I told her no for a few days. Finally she asked if I was having sex. “No, Mom, no.” Then, “Well, Mom, maybe once.” Finally, “Ok, mom, yes”. So the next day she took off work to take me to the doctor. My first Pap and pee-in-a-cup ever; oh my God was that a shock. My mom waited in the lobby and the nurse came to tell me I was pregnant, about 8 weeks along. She shook her head and just said I was so young. The nurse asked if I knew what I was going to do and I immediately answered, “have an abortion”. My mom came in and we both cried. Partly because my dad was one of those people with quite the explosive temper. In fact he didn’t speak to me for 2 months after it happened.
The next day, both of my parents, my aunt, and my boyfriend all went with me to the clinic an hour away.
They talked to me about what it would be like, the recovery and how to use birth control in the future, etc. I remember getting the IV for the drugs and them saying it would be like cramps. The nurse was there holding my hand. I guess I was scared and it was indeed the worst cramping I'd ever experienced, but soon it was over and I was in the recovery room. Eventually I went out to where my family was waiting and we went home. I was back at school the next day with the order not to lift anything heavy for a week. I didn’t feel guilty then, just afraid the other kids would find out. I find it interesting now that I’m an adult just how many girls in school did get pregnant and nobody knew about it.
I have to say now that, yes I think about the abortion, but not with regret. I think, 'holy cow, that kid would have been 14 now'. It's more about how time flies rather than the fact that I'd be the parent of a teenager. But I was obviously too young to have a baby, adoption or not. And the ways in which a child would have hindered my life are unthinkable. There was never any question then, nor is there now that I would have an abortion if I got pregnant. For me, I don't want kids *ever* but they won't 'spay' me at 28.
I can actually say that I am glad it happened. It was a good learning experience and it created a bond with "Todd" that we still share as good friends 15 years later. So, absolutely I can say..."I'm Not Sorry".
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